Family is fuxored.

[kickaha]

Dear Mom.

While I know you enjoy the free, 24/7 tech support that I provide, I will need to amend the agreement with the following clause:

14) Above agreement does not apply while I AM IN THE SHOWER!

Comments

[georgmi.livejournal.com]

Do you know how long your mom was in labor with you? If not, I suggest you not share the above sentiment with her, or you are liable to find out. :)

_My_ mom once called me at work because her NT 3.1 domain at home was not letting anyone log on, because she had managed to promote a second primary domain controller without demoting the first, and neither machine would let the other accept authentication requests. I eventually tracked down the procedure for demoting a PDC, but it was literally faster and less complicated to reinstall Windows and all her applications.

I envy people whose parents call them and ask *simple* questions, like, "why doesn't my modem work?"

[kickaha.livejournal.com]

Cool. I'll forward her questions to you then. :D

[georgmi.livejournal.com]

No problem. I'll give you the same deal I gave M.'s parents--24/7 tech support for the low low price of one first-born daughter (or the equivalent).

[gwyneira.livejournal.com]

Hey -- I am not a low, low price!

[georgmi.livejournal.com]

Babe, your parents traded you for twice-a-year network troubleshooting, and still have to throw in a beer every time I go over there.

[gwywnnydd.livejournal.com]

See, if one were a Luddite (like myself), one wouldn't *have* a waterproof phone, and would be able to argue that "I'm sorry, I was in the shower, and didn't hear your call..."

[kickaha.livejournal.com]

Apparently I need to edit the post...

We're staying at her place. I had just gotten into the shower when she knocked on the door, to ask me why she couldn't get online. So yeah, she *knew* I was in the shower when she asked. I had to shut off the water so I could hear what she was saying. :P

[jinasphinx.livejournal.com]

OMG. :) This makes the whole story even better!

[gwywnnydd.livejournal.com]

Well, in that case, it's clear what your obligation was.

You should have jumped out of the shower and rushed to clear up her problem. No, don't bother grabbing a towel, there's no time.

Bonus points if you can be dripping soap/shampoo on carpets when accomplishing this :}

[ginkgo.livejournal.com]

She bothered you *twice*? :O

I thought I was being a good wife on the other issue by not ratting you out on the shower pump.

[kickaha.livejournal.com]

Yup, once right after I got in the water to ask about a networking issue. :P

[badger.livejournal.com]

Especially if the shower is part of the morning "ontogeny recapitulates phylogeny" evolving back to functional in the morning. Not that I'd know *anything* about that long slow crawl up from the formless muck....

[franktheavenger.livejournal.com]

If you answered her you have no right to complain. :p The proper answer was not to turn of the shower, it was to yell LOUDLY: "DON'T KNOW, DON'T GIVE A FUCK, SHOWERING!"

Parents must be trained with harsh tactics. :)

[georgmi.livejournal.com]

If I recall correctly, Jason's mom is the inventor of the marbles technique for getting him out of bed. I reckon her response to the above would be to turn of the hot water at the heater.

[franktheavenger.livejournal.com]

What's the marbles technique?

And the easy way to get back at her for shutting off the hot water is to fuck up her computer and never, ever fix it again. Two birds with one stone. I am nothing if not pragmatic. :)

[ginkgo.livejournal.com]

The method involves dense objects put in a freezer or refrigerator and tossed onto the sleeping person. :P

[ashears.livejournal.com]

Oh, god, this explains a lot.

[franktheavenger.livejournal.com]

Man, my mom would have learned very quickly it is a bad idea to wake me by giving my a heavy, cold missle weapon. :p

[greenteablues.livejournal.com]

Wow.

A) I'm amazed kickaha didn't turn out to be an axe-murderer.
(Don't incriminate yourself if there's something I don't know...)

B) I almost took my sisters head off her shoulders for *tapping* me awake once.
If she had lobbed frozen goods on me, I probably would have razed the house to the ground in a preconscious rage before climbing back under the warm blankets and rubble.

[kickaha.livejournal.com]

She left out the crucial details...

See, if you take ice cold marbles and pour them into someone's bed, no matter where they roll... the little fuckers follow. Works better than ice water.

[franktheavenger.livejournal.com]

But then you're a) up and b) pissed off. My mom would get away with that all of once. :p