I know why the cored apple seeps...

[kickaha]

Well *that* was interesting....

Went to the dermatologist today because a mole check turned up an 'unusual' one. GP wasn't sure what to make of it, but since I'm a redhead, I grew up in a desert, and I've had more than my fair share of sunburns (including a 3rd degree on my feet - yes, it's possible), he thought it best to have it checked.

Dermatologist looks at it through the technoloupe (sounds like a Glasswalker Garou, now that I think about it), and says "Huh." Never a good sign. I had, in one big assed freckle, *three*, count them *three* indicators... all for different types of skin tumors. Sooooo, a 'biopsy' was decreed.

Now, I don't know about you, but when I hear 'biopsy', I get the image of a thin needle taking a small sample.

I could not have been more wrong.

They removed the whole damned thing. About 1/3" across, and 1/4" deep, they *cored* my leg, and then stitched it up.

Oh, and just for the record... you know on horror movies when they show that foam latex skin stretching all gooey-like, and it looks so fake? Yeah, it's not. It looks just like that. After the coring came the pulling, and then the snipping. It looked fricking *cool*, man. (Even if I did get the cold-scalp-prickle of mild shock...) And oh, when she pulled on it, it was like tapping a keg of O positive. *blorp* My Fangoria-addled inner child was giggling.

Comments

[flinx.livejournal.com]

Aaaaaand that's why they specifically call them 'needle' biopsies. Heh.

You should see the ones they use for liver samples. Jeeeeeezus.

About ten, fifteen years ago, my dad had a sebaceous cyst biopsied. Sucker was so damn big, and so damn old, that the nurses and the doc had to leave the room, first to get fresh air, and second to pull in a portable ventilator, before they could finish getting it out. (I'm glad I missed that one) He was lucky, though, it was just a cyst, nothing else outstanding about it.

[kickaha.livejournal.com]

Woah. They had to leave the room because... of the er, odor?

Yup.

[flinx.livejournal.com]

In my dad's mis-spent youth (*rolls eyes*), somehow, some way, he had a sebaceous duct clog, but it kept producing oil. Whatever bacteria had been in there originally, well they kept cranking, too.

Can you say "anaerobic environment", boys and girls? I knew you could. Can you say "volatile organic compounds the likes of which man was not meant to smell"? Good!

Think of it as one gargantuan pimple, with a solidified core (*twitch*) about 3/4 of an inch across. Dad's scar is still a quarter inch-deep dimple. I still feel bad for the medical staff who dealt with it. My dad--lucky bastard--that was when he still smoked, so he couldn't smell a damn thing.

Grossed out yet? Heeheehee...

Re: Yup.

[kickaha.livejournal.com]

Coooooooool.

I know someone who was working at Harborview when they brought in a homeless woman who had been screaming outside complaining about headaches. They wanted to inspect her head, but she wouldn't let them take off her matted hat. So they sedated her, and took off her hat... where they found another hat. And another one. She never took them off, and when they got grimy, she'd just put another one on top.

They just kept going, until they hit... bone? Yup, bone. Her scalp had completely rotted away, and she had raw bone, then layer after layer of rotting skin, hair, wool, and cotton, all liberally steeped in body fluids. Apparently the smell after about layer 2 had people leaving, and when they hit bone, even the most sturdy of them was heaving their guts out in the hall.

I can't *imagine* why she had a headache.

Re: Yup.

[flinx.livejournal.com]

To use your word... Coooooooool.

Can't imagine how they'd treat that one, either. Skin-graft, eventually, sure, but... damn, the burn ward would've been one freaking LOUD place for the long time she'd be in there... oof.

That, and I think you win the gross-out contest for now. I don't have anything to top that right now. ;-)

Re: Yup.

[kickaha.livejournal.com]

I eagerly await your rebuttal! :D

Re: Yup.

[ladykalana.livejournal.com]

You people are so, so very vile. Ew. I don't like you anymore *heave*

That being said, hope the biopsy comes back clean!

Re: Yup.

[kickaha.livejournal.com]

Well it certainly wasn't clean when they put it in the specimen jar. It was kind of gooey really. Neat combination of clear slime, a slight yellow gel, and some red, but not nearly as much as you'd expect from the gout of thick red goo that shot out when she popped the core.

;)

Re: Yup.

[ladykalana.livejournal.com]

Watch out, bub. I know one of your ick triggers, too; don't make me use it.

[kickaha.livejournal.com]

re: biopsy... you know, if they'd just called it a frecklectomy, I would have been much more ready for what was to come.