kickaha | I know why the cored apple seeps...

I know why the cored apple seeps...

Well *that* was interesting....

Went to the dermatologist today because a mole check turned up an 'unusual' one. GP wasn't sure what to make of it, but since I'm a redhead, I grew up in a desert, and I've had more than my fair share of sunburns (including a 3rd degree on my feet - yes, it's possible), he thought it best to have it checked.

Dermatologist looks at it through the technoloupe (sounds like a Glasswalker Garou, now that I think about it), and says "Huh." Never a good sign. I had, in one big assed freckle, *three*, count them *three* indicators... all for different types of skin tumors. Sooooo, a 'biopsy' was decreed.

Now, I don't know about you, but when I hear 'biopsy', I get the image of a thin needle taking a small sample.

I could not have been more wrong.

They removed the whole damned thing. About 1/3" across, and 1/4" deep, they *cored* my leg, and then stitched it up.

Oh, and just for the record... you know on horror movies when they show that foam latex skin stretching all gooey-like, and it looks so fake? Yeah, it's not. It looks just like that. After the coring came the pulling, and then the snipping. It looked fricking *cool*, man. (Even if I did get the cold-scalp-prickle of mild shock...) And oh, when she pulled on it, it was like tapping a keg of O positive. *blorp* My Fangoria-addled inner child was giggling.

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You shoulda been around Saturday when I yanked out a chunck of my wart.

Don't worry, there's plenty left.

Aaaaaand that's why they specifically call them 'needle' biopsies. Heh.

You should see the ones they use for liver samples. Jeeeeeezus.

About ten, fifteen years ago, my dad had a sebaceous cyst biopsied. Sucker was so damn big, and so damn old, that the nurses and the doc had to leave the room, first to get fresh air, and second to pull in a portable ventilator, before they could finish getting it out. (I'm glad I missed that one) He was lucky, though, it was just a cyst, nothing else outstanding about it.

Woah. They had to leave the room because... of the er, odor?

I recommend the corer. It worked phenomenally well.

re: biopsy... you know, if they'd just called it a frecklectomy, I would have been much more ready for what was to come.

punch biopsy?

I prefer the term corer, but yeah, it was essentially a circular scalpel used like a cookie cutter, or a leather punch.

Man, I'd totally be into that. My dermatologist is worried about scarring, but I've had this long enough.

But dude - chicks dig scars.

I'm gonna have a hellascar on my calf.

In my dad's mis-spent youth (*rolls eyes*), somehow, some way, he had a sebaceous duct clog, but it kept producing oil. Whatever bacteria had been in there originally, well they kept cranking, too.

Can you say "anaerobic environment", boys and girls? I knew you could. Can you say "volatile organic compounds the likes of which man was not meant to smell"? Good!

Think of it as one gargantuan pimple, with a solidified core (*twitch*) about 3/4 of an inch across. Dad's scar is still a quarter inch-deep dimple. I still feel bad for the medical staff who dealt with it. My dad--lucky bastard--that was when he still smoked, so he couldn't smell a damn thing.

Grossed out yet? Heeheehee...

Coooooooool.

I know someone who was working at Harborview when they brought in a homeless woman who had been screaming outside complaining about headaches. They wanted to inspect her head, but she wouldn't let them take off her matted hat. So they sedated her, and took off her hat... where they found another hat. And another one. She never took them off, and when they got grimy, she'd just put another one on top.

They just kept going, until they hit... bone? Yup, bone. Her scalp had completely rotted away, and she had raw bone, then layer after layer of rotting skin, hair, wool, and cotton, all liberally steeped in body fluids. Apparently the smell after about layer 2 had people leaving, and when they hit bone, even the most sturdy of them was heaving their guts out in the hall.

I can't *imagine* why she had a headache.

With you on the burned feet. My Dad, who isn't even a redhead, experienced second degree on his feet. had to be carried onto the plane the next day.

So, you're what, three years older than I? K, I've got roughly three years before I also end up under the knife, since I match so many of teh danger indicators :).

Heh. Yeah, I've been putting pennies in my Melanoma Jar since I was a wee lad. It's not like this was unexpected... :)

Same here :).

Go go mutant melanin!

To use your word... Coooooooool.

Can't imagine how they'd treat that one, either. Skin-graft, eventually, sure, but... damn, the burn ward would've been one freaking LOUD place for the long time she'd be in there... oof.

That, and I think you win the gross-out contest for now. I don't have anything to top that right now. ;-)

I eagerly await your rebuttal! :D

You people are so, so very vile. Ew. I don't like you anymore *heave*

That being said, hope the biopsy comes back clean!

Well it certainly wasn't clean when they put it in the specimen jar. It was kind of gooey really. Neat combination of clear slime, a slight yellow gel, and some red, but not nearly as much as you'd expect from the gout of thick red goo that shot out when she popped the core.

;)

Watch out, bub. I know one of your ick triggers, too; don't make me use it.

my evil twin says you're a little disturbed. ok, a lot disturbed.

I thought we established that you *are* the evil twin?

Any anaesthetic involved? Or was this the physical manifestation of the thesis defense, i.e. vivisection?

oh right. i forgot - silly me.

Liberal use of lidocaine, for which I was grateful. :)

Here's some gross for ya...I had my neck "cored" as you put it about 12 years ago now. Dermoid cyst, been there since birth. Periodically it would itch, and then if I pushed on it, it'd squirt kinda white pasty goo. Sometimes little short dead hairs too. And then there was one longass hair that grew out of it, that I had to pluck to be rid of occasionally, cuz it was rooted. Yes, I let it go until I was in my early 20's. Never was much of an issue since it had a permanent outlet hole. Gross, but weirdly fascinating.

One day, it started seeping yellowy red fluid, so I went in for a "biopsy". I was expecting them to just look at it, maybe drain it. Um, no. Cookie cutter time. I discovered that I could see the operation by looking in the center of the very reflective operating light, so I watched it. Grossest part was the sound...like cutting through very thick rubber bands. Ew. Nice scar, though. No plastic skin for me, just a couple stitches.

I didn't get to hear it. :(

But I *did* get to look directly at it in all it's gory goodness. :D

We'll have to compare scars sometime. :)

I hope all is well. I did not enjoy my biopsies.

At least you didn't have any natural assistance:

http://www.couriermail.news.com.au/common/story_page/0,5936,17256905%255E1702,00.html

Too bad it wasn't iocane powder, to which I've been developing an immunity, in case I ever play a game of chance with a Sicilian...

Now about your planned land war in Asia...

Honey?

Sweetie?

You win.

I'll know in a week or so. :)

The posts about sebaceous cysts and woman with rotted skin - not even a twitch. Ditto all the other cysts, etc - no problems.

This one: EUW! Euw, euw, euw, euw, euw!!!!

That poor lady.

Yeah. :/ Much as I romanticize the beautiful and cultural aspects of India, it is a miserable place to be poor, physically different, or sick. The worst part of that story was that it was seen as unsurprising.

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I know why the cored apple seeps...

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Yup.

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yay

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Ray of sunshine!

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