Dear Trees.

[kickaha]

(Not tree, the big woody things outside. Just so that's clear.)

I'm really happy for you all that you're all simultaneously getting your funk on, and getting some. Really, I am.

I'd like to point however, that I did not give my permission nor consent to be involved in your big fucking pollen orgy, and would like you all to take it back. I never asked you all to splooge up my nose, and in my eyes, and really, it's pretty damned rude to be spraying your seed everywhere in a giant tree bukkake-fest.

So really, stop it, or I'm going to be forced to get all Paul Bunyan on your sorry asses. I don't care how big you are, I have a chainsaw, opposable thumbs, and can move move a hell of a lot faster than you bastards.

Comments

[new-apostasy.livejournal.com]

bet you never thought you'd be starring in your very own tree porn movie. i'll bring over the camera if i can find someone to hold the boom mike.

thousands of trees!
billions upon billions of spores!
1 red-haired computer geek taking it up the nose!

::runs away::

[kickaha.livejournal.com]

Yeah, when I signed up for 'getting some wood', this wasn't what I was expecting, y'know?