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1. If you've got ten years of old magazines stacked on your front porch but they're mostly New Yorkers... you might be a Triangle redneck.

2. If your front porch collapses (see item 1, above) and six dogs git killed but they're all airedales, border collies, or enrolled in agility classes... you might be a Triangle redneck.

3. If you own more cars that that don't run than cars that do but they're all Alfa Romeos... you might be a Triangle redneck.

4. If you're fightin' to change the law that says you can't marry your first cousin Jake -- and your name's also Jake... you might be a Triangle redneck.

5. If you go to stock car races to watch your favorite car -- the one sponsored by your own dot.com biz... you might be a Triangle redneck.

6. If the schoolmarm takes points off your grade for using words like "y'all," or "yep" or "ain't" in your PhD thesis... you might be a Triangle redneck.

7. If you built a secure website to raise funds to rescue your local Starlite Drive-In Theatre then felt bad about supporting a business that also sells guns but kept going to the movies anyway because they sell such damn good onion rings and hot dogs then felt bad about eating non-free range meat... you might be a Triangle redneck.

8. If you ever punched someone out for talkin' trash about your little sister -- on mySpace, Friendster, or Craigslist... you might be a Triangle redneck.

9. If you love country music, especially the "traditional" kind like John Prine, Iris DeMent, and Tift Merritt... you might be a Triangle redneck.

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January 2020

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