Who's bland?
Apr. 20th, 2004 01:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kickahaFor those lucky enough to have traveled north of the border to visit our Canuckian neighbors, you may have run across the epitome and zenith of Canuckian cuisine: potato chips.
A few years ago, we got the salt and vinegar variety down here in Da States, and there was much rejoicing at the news. No more would small children smelling of maple syrup and with the occasional beaver pelt belt be used to smuggle Old Dutch across the border in less than savory body cavities!
And then we tasted them. (The *CHIPS*, you perverts.)
"Where's the vinegar!?" was the hue and cry raised, for these were... dull. Nary a burned bronchial tube was to be had upon placing one of *these* on the tongue and inhaling at an inopportune time. The allure of the Canuckian chips of yore were not to be found in these thin and thinly disguised crisps.
So the use of the RMCP Youth Brigade and Synchronized Smuggling Team continues.
But now... phase II of the overtaking of 'Merican palates by the Northern Brethren has been launched. No, they have not unleashed their Ultimate Weapon (ketchup flavored), but instead have initiated a limited yet poutine-powerful strike: dill pickle.
Oh frabjous day! Calloo callay! A second chance for the Statesian chip producers to redeem themselves!
Or not.
Much like the previous ill-executed attempt, these things are LACKING! VAGUE! Dare I say it... BLAND!
Dammit, we deserve to have our tastebuds assaulted and overtaken with a flavor equal to, nay, stronger than, the Gauloise stench infiltrating our Canuckian cousins' peridontal tissues! These are not meant to be mildly flavored chips, no... the chips should be mere deployment vehicles for a full on shock and awe campaign of gustatory delight!
Sadly, it looks like we will have to continue waiting, and dreaming, of the day when intensely flavored filets of deep fried tubers equal to those of the indigenous kitchens of the South Inuits flood onto our shores and palates. Until that day, march on south, Canuckian children... march on. We'll be waiting.
A few years ago, we got the salt and vinegar variety down here in Da States, and there was much rejoicing at the news. No more would small children smelling of maple syrup and with the occasional beaver pelt belt be used to smuggle Old Dutch across the border in less than savory body cavities!
And then we tasted them. (The *CHIPS*, you perverts.)
"Where's the vinegar!?" was the hue and cry raised, for these were... dull. Nary a burned bronchial tube was to be had upon placing one of *these* on the tongue and inhaling at an inopportune time. The allure of the Canuckian chips of yore were not to be found in these thin and thinly disguised crisps.
So the use of the RMCP Youth Brigade and Synchronized Smuggling Team continues.
But now... phase II of the overtaking of 'Merican palates by the Northern Brethren has been launched. No, they have not unleashed their Ultimate Weapon (ketchup flavored), but instead have initiated a limited yet poutine-powerful strike: dill pickle.
Oh frabjous day! Calloo callay! A second chance for the Statesian chip producers to redeem themselves!
Or not.
Much like the previous ill-executed attempt, these things are LACKING! VAGUE! Dare I say it... BLAND!
Dammit, we deserve to have our tastebuds assaulted and overtaken with a flavor equal to, nay, stronger than, the Gauloise stench infiltrating our Canuckian cousins' peridontal tissues! These are not meant to be mildly flavored chips, no... the chips should be mere deployment vehicles for a full on shock and awe campaign of gustatory delight!
Sadly, it looks like we will have to continue waiting, and dreaming, of the day when intensely flavored filets of deep fried tubers equal to those of the indigenous kitchens of the South Inuits flood onto our shores and palates. Until that day, march on south, Canuckian children... march on. We'll be waiting.
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Date: 2004-04-28 07:41 am (UTC)