kickaha | Important safety tip...

Important safety tip...

When you drop a window AC unit, and grab it in mid air, do not do so by slamming your hand into the array of razor sharp vanes on the outside, and applying sufficient pressure to stop it.

There is more friction there than you might expect.

Well, until the blood starts, then it gets slick again.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That is so totally a you thing to do.

Ain't it though?

...says the pot calling the kettle black. I can entirely see you doing that too, dear.

Ah, but my nicks and cuts rarely rise to the level of injury. That is pure Jason.

Agreed. But don't worry, you'll get there some day... you just gotta practice, practice, practice.

If you have dropped something that is not living, just get out of the way of it and let it hit the ground. There are too many ways to get hurt and not enough things valuable enough to get hurt over. The first-cut (no pun intended) decision should always be to let it hit the ground.

I suggest catching children and pets, unless the pet weighs more than the children.

Yes, there are exceptions to this rule, but haven't you hurt yourself by catching things before? Several times? Didn't you tell me the story about the time you caught the knife you dropped and laid your hand open?

Of course, the zero-level decision should be to never lift something high enough that it would be damaged if you dropped it. This involves a life that includes a lot of low rolling carts and levers.

Or maybe everyone should just ignore me.

Think of the reduction in amusement value for the rest of us if he actually managed to implement this rule, though.

Schadenfreude is your friend. (Schadenfreunde?)

We're dealing with a man I see very infrequently, and if he continues damaging himself at the actual rate I observe, filtered through my natural exaggeration, then filtered through my black, vicious sense of humor, he'll just be made of a single piece of scar tissue by the time I see him again. He won't look like I remember him, and he won't be able to move or bend properly. And it'll be very sad. Largely because I'll have to clean up after him when he dribbles the meal we're sharing on his "Kiss Me--I'm an Immobile Piece of Scar Tissue" t-shirt.

I'm struggling to prevent this. My mission is noble, and my goals are just.

Nah, God would never let him become immobile, because then he would no longer be able to entertain us by dropping sharp things on himself.

As for cleaning up after him, I have three words: "picnic" and "garden hose".

That is, as I'm sure you expect, four words. Unless you're only counting the ones in the quotes, but then you've still got another word just sitting around there, doing not much of anything.

I am, by the way, enjoying the thought that the only reason Jason isn't in this conversation, bantering away with us, is that he's sitting at his computer with his hands both bandaged up to the size of boxing gloves, unable to hit less than twelve keys at a time. He's eyeing the pencils, wondering what his typing speed would be with one clutched in his lips.

I need a nap and a margarita.

That is, as I'm sure you expect, four words.

I'm a generous tipper.

I'd actually figured that the blood loss had resulted in hallucinations and a lack of ready wit on Jason's part, but then I wondered how to explain away the rest of the time.

Work, and then pottery class. :)

Had to wear a latex glove to keep the clay on the wheel from ripping it anew. :D

Hmm, don't recall catching a dropped knife (so that I cut myself - I normally catch them correctly ;) ), but I have been *stabbed* in the palm... with a fingernail file. It *barely* refrained from breaking the skin on the other side of my hand.

However, an extremely heavy AC unit while the cat is underfoot is not to be dropped.

Clearly you need hands with more meat in them.

Oh, fuck, that's awful. Glad you didn't do it while I was visiting.

;p

Indeed.

But I have just one thing to say to you:

Hypnotoad.

ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD

OMFG am I ROTFLOL! http://twitpic.com/ggh7
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----neereoweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrrowneereoweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrrowneereoweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrrowneereoweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrroweerrrow-----

Now *that* I'm glad you did while I was there. I still crack up thinking about it.

http://twitpic.com/ggh7

Blood, nature's lubricant! :D

So, so wrong. :D

There are *so many* places not to go from there...

Man. You have some of the most spectacular injuries. Someday I gotta put you in a room with The Man and our friend Billy the ex-football player and have you guys play "Oh yeah, if you think that was bad..."

*laugh* That would be... scary.

Awesome, but scary. :D

Senior year, my high school guidance counselor signed my year book with "Why are you still *alive*?"

And that was before I got better with practice. :D

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Important safety tip...

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Train yourself in this:

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