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Anthropormuffins
I love English muffins. (No, jason0x21, the food stuff kind, not the... oh, alright, those are nice too.)
This morning I popped a Thomas's brand muffin in the toaster, and was all happy and such when they popped up, until I started to butter it. That's when I realized... nooks and crannies are assholes.
Not literal assholes, mind you, but metaphorical assholes. (Otherwise that'd be, y'know, gross.) The little fuckers hold butter alright, that's their advertised job description, but these bastards don't just *hold* butter, they goddamn steal it. Big ol' pat of butter on the knife, apply to edge of muffin, swipe, and... gone by 1/3 of the way across. The goddamned nooks and crannies grabbed all of it, and held onto it for dear life, apparently making sure none of their neighbors downswipe got any. I dunno, maybe butter is bad for them too, and they're being altruistic and crap, or maybe they're just greedy assholes. I don't care, I just know that my frickin' english muffin is now unbutterbalanced, and that's just a sad state of affairs.
I dub thee crooks and nannies, ya little fuckers.
This morning I popped a Thomas's brand muffin in the toaster, and was all happy and such when they popped up, until I started to butter it. That's when I realized... nooks and crannies are assholes.
Not literal assholes, mind you, but metaphorical assholes. (Otherwise that'd be, y'know, gross.) The little fuckers hold butter alright, that's their advertised job description, but these bastards don't just *hold* butter, they goddamn steal it. Big ol' pat of butter on the knife, apply to edge of muffin, swipe, and... gone by 1/3 of the way across. The goddamned nooks and crannies grabbed all of it, and held onto it for dear life, apparently making sure none of their neighbors downswipe got any. I dunno, maybe butter is bad for them too, and they're being altruistic and crap, or maybe they're just greedy assholes. I don't care, I just know that my frickin' english muffin is now unbutterbalanced, and that's just a sad state of affairs.
I dub thee crooks and nannies, ya little fuckers.
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