It was as loud as an illegal M-80 on the Fourth of July.

So are legal M-80s louder, or less loud, than the illegal kind? I think it's safe to assume that _everything_ is less loud on the Fourth of July, because your hearing efficacy is reduced due to the relatively high ambient noise on that date. In any case, that's a very specific level of loud.

Hmm. I've been thinking about switching to Comcast anyway, and my laptop _is_ pretty old...